Monday, Apr. 07, 2008 - 4:29 p.m.

Lemme just say that I know firsthand how God likes to play games with me. I have experienced his sense of humor firsthand so I know how he works! LOL!!

My situation is that I'm currently unsure about my j.o.b. Don't know what I want to do - stay, go, I just have no clue. I've been applying online halfheartedly for other positions within my company and at other companies. I'm just not knowing what path I want to take and it's so frustrating because I'm a jack-of-all-trades but a master of none. I don't have a specific specialty, like "Database Administrator", so that gives me anxiety about jumping ship.

So imagine my surprise when my boss calls me this morning to tell me that the Database Lady (the one I previously wrote about 'cause she drives me NUTS) has decided to accept another position within our company. Her duties are supposed to revert back to our IT department but they're about to go under review, which could be a long process and also involve some restructuring. In the meantime, I've been "nominated" to take over (probably all of) her responsibilities. The decision is totally up to me and I am not to feel pressured to say yes. But the proposition is definitely out there.

Ya know, I just realized I forgot to mention that I would be getting paid MORE money than I'm getting now...

It's just the whole thing AGAIN about me being given TOO MUCH work, to the point where my output is not guaranteed to be excellent. And that bothers me. And that is what I will discuss open and honestly with my boss in negotiations about this situation, should I choose to pursue it. I know that they will put me in that position and expect me to do it and my work and for everything to be perfect, all I's dotted and all T's crossed, no matter what it takes. No matter what amount of blood I'll have to bleed from my veins to get it done...

Do I really want to set myself up for that?

My boss is out of the office until Wednesday but when she gets back, I'm definitely gonna talk about it - my concerns, what looks good about it to me (besides the money, it's a great opportunity for me to get experience with Ora.cle and S.QL), what I expect from them if I do it as well as what they expect from me....

I'm definitely going to explore all my options no matter what. 'Cause at the end of the day, my kindness is definitely abused on the regular up in here. The way I get worked would not fly with anybody else.

We'll see.

It's always the money that has me nervous about leaving this place 'cause to get a salary like the one I have in today's job market? It would be difficult. To say the LEAST.

I don't know. I'm wondering if God opened up this door for me so that I can get the training and experience I've been wanting without having to go to another company and start all over and maybe have higher green grass to cut somewhere else (Joel O. said it best when he said, "The grass is always greener on the other side...but it still has to be cut!"). Like, maybe I haven't really put my heart into the whole job search because he wanted to give me more right where I am. But then again, he knows I'm not completely happy here. But maybe he's about to work it out to where I will be happy in more ways than one without having to jump ship, 'cause I hate quitting a job...

I don't know. I believe all my answers will come in due time though.

Soooo, I'm looking into getting a laptop. They have some nice new Gate.way.s for $600. I'ma see though. I really need one in terms of school and such. I feel like everybody else is light-years ahead of me in that department. It's crazy though 'cause I have a PC that I was supposed to take home 'cause they had a surplus thing at my job so they gave 'em to us to take home. I haven't taken mine home yet and that was last summer! LOL!!! We already have a desktop at the house. But you can't take a desktop to group meetings in random places on Saturdays and other middle-of-the-nights, so it's more convenient for me to get a laptop.

Gosh, decisions, DECISIONS!

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