Saturday, Feb. 09, 2008 - 12:31 p.m.

Damn I miss the halfway sane Laur.yn H.ill!!!

So I'm sitting in the lab avoiding working on one of my group projects by posting to dland. Loves it!

Pandora dot com is JAMMING today, ya heard?!?!

I'm so worried about work that I feel sick to my stomach. Things feel so up-in-the-air and I'm constantly walking on eggshells because information is so wishy-washy but sensitive. Don't feel like explaining what that means right now.

All I know is that I got my butt up out the chair and went down to visit the HR lady to ask about the process to transfer to another office but someone else was in her office and if a certain person on that floor observed me waiting for the HR lady to get freed up so I could speak to her, that certain person would definitely have called my boss to ask if anything is going on.

If (more than likely, when) I make a move, it's not gonna be sneaky but I don't need nobody blowing up my spot before I even decide what the hell I'm going to do, feel me? So yeah, on Monday, if I have a second free, I'm gonna go visit the HR lady again - hopefully she'll be available to give me some info.

I went out last night.

I swear, I try to be just friendly but niggas won't let me do just that. They wanna flirt and all that shit. LOL! I just wanna have a nice conversation without somebody outta the blue asking me if I'm a damn freak. Geez! How does me having casual conversation about the music playing and other real regular stuff lead you to believe that I'm a damn freak? I don't understand it. It must be a smell I have or something. I must smell like "freak". Yeah, that must be it, 'cause I just don't give off any other indications that I know of.

So D had me CRACKING UP 'cause apparently David didn't know that his homeboy (who David himself told me was fresh outta jail) was tryin' to hit on me at his birthday party. Amongst other things, the dude actually even came into the bedroom where I was resting and tried to push up on me. I guess me giving the impression that I would punch the hell outta his damn face if he tried me was what finally (finally!!) made him leave me the hell alone. For real, his behavior wouldn't even have made me nervous if I wasn't told just an hour before that he was fresh outta jail. I didn't tell David anything 'cause it just wasn't that serious to me but D told him and she said David was mad as hell! LOL!!!! I'm not sorry that his reaction is just too damn funny to me! LMAO! I'm sure that's the last I'll ever see of that particular homeboy as long as David has anything to do with it.

D tried to tell me that I have a wall up in terms of love. I tried to explain to her that I really don't have a wall up. I actually have an open heart. It's just that I'm so adverse to foolishness and time-wasting in the Love Department that I don't have the desire to put up with any ridiculousness. If I have to wait for somebody with some sense and no mental issues to come along, then so be it. But I'm not gonna sit up here and call myself loving somebody that doesn't want to, know how to or just simply can't love me back.

Like an old boss used to say, I'm just gon' have to have the patience of Job on that one.

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