"Sometimes I feel the world is out for me...tryna stop what I do."
Thursday, Sept. 20, 2007 - 8:34 p.m.
Lemme tell u - this black man on Su.rvivor? Fine as hell! Before I realized anything, upon seeing him with no shirt on, I had done opened my mouth and said, "Damn he fine. I want him RIGHT NOW." Ya heard? He is just.......whew!
So the other day when I had that terrible day at work, I ain't know what to think. And then to leave the office and walk outside to my car at 8 o'clock that night and see a parking ticket on my windshield even though I have a decal that allows me to park there...... I swear, I thought I was gonna have a meltdown.
I tried to cry just for the purposes of releasing all my frustrations but the cry only made it as a lump in my throat. A full tear refused to form. It was a mental blockage. I'm just not one to cry unless it's something to do with the Lord or Virginia is here or I'm at a funeral. Other'n that, I just can't do it. But I just really wanted to the other day, just to feel better. But it ain't happen.
Either way, all I know is I felt like a new woman that next morning. In a lot of different ways. It was strange.
Maybe that was one of my fires, like the whole cleansing process? Maybe. I don't know.
All I know is I feel different in a lot of ways. And I'm repeating myself. I'm just trying to make sense of what's happening in my head.
I sho'll thank God for just being who he is to, for and with me. All the time, no matter what way I'm being with him. He loves me regardless of it all. And I thank him for that.