Monday, Aug. 06, 2007 - 3:56 p.m.

Okay, I'm surprised at how my weekend turned out, but not really. It usually happens that way. LOL.

I'm tired but I'm not hungover and I'm not EXHAUSTED, so it's all good.

So TheBouncer moved back to Ohio. I was told this by him and I got pissed off. I was surprised myself at how upset I was! LOL! I was just upset at the fact that my guaranteed dick is gone. THAT had me hot!!! LOL!!!! And without a little goodbye nookie! Ugh! WTF?!?!?!??!?! Yeah, I was pissed the hell off. LMAO!

But I guess it's all for the best. I've been thinking hard about celibacy anyway, so maybe, just maybe, I'm off to a good start.

I just SO look forward to a clear mind and heart when I'm going to school and trying to work on me, in general.

Well, anyway. LOL.

I don't like being busy. I really don't. But I find that that's how I mostly am. And it really gets to be ridiculous at times. I mean, more often than not.

So I saw Erykah Badu live on Saturday for the free dollaz! That chick is weird. I mean, I be feelin' what she sayin' when she be sayin' somethin' that make sense but homegirl was up there talkin' 'bout "Annie ain't got on no pannies".

*blink blink*

Yeah. So my feet was hurtin' and I had already enjoyed Common's hour-long performance with special guest Talib Kweli. Yeah, it was time to go. Me and my girls politely slipped our shoes back on and headed home. It had been a long night and Erykah was just acting a little too crazy with it.

But I did enjoy the few minutes of her performance that I did see. Had there been seats at the venue, I probably would have stayed. Maybe even would have sang along about Annie and her no pannies-havin' self. But I got to see her live on stage and that was enough for me.

**********************************

Alright, I feel like climbing up on my soapbox. I feel like riding my high-ass horse. I feel like throwing stones from my cloudy-ass glass house. Sooooooo, here I go! :)

I believe something.

I believe that a man shows you who he really is from the beginning. It's just a matter of a woman making the decision to address or ignore what a man is showing them from the start.

Yes, I believe people change over time. But there are some basic things that I believe a man will display from the get-go that are definite indicators of certain behaviors.

The problem I have is that I look for those clues as soon as I meet somebody. I don't sit back and give them the opportunity to blind me. I'm on the hunt for signs at "Hello". LOL.

Unfortunately (for people who want me to be sweeter) but fortunately (for me, 'cause I hate the thought that I've wasted my time), I smell what's cooking from the get-go and I address the issue up-front AKA I let these niggas know I know what's up.

What's funny is I've never gotten a negative reaction for being that way with a dude. Half the time, they end up begging for "another chance" 'cause they just can't believe I've figured out their little "riddle" so quick. LOL! But, too bad, so sad, 'cause once the smoke has cleared and I've found out who you really are, youuuu'rrrrrrrreeeeeee OUT!

The one that had me making the decision to be blind was Jerramy, but even in that situation, I realized who he was, called him on it, and made the decision to accept it just for the sake of experience. And it was definitely an experience I don't regret and I am extremely happy for as far as what it did for me mentally.

But the point is, I peeped game. I smelled what his crazy-ass was cooking. I was picking up what he was putting down. The only thing that caught me off guard was the feeling that he actually *ahem* cared for me. I didn't remember getting that kind of genuine feeling from anybody else before, so that really threw me for a loop on the damn Double Loop. And THAT's what made it hard for me to let go of his ass.

But I'm over it now. I don't hate him in the least. I actually hope he's doing okay. I haven't spoken to or seen him in a while but I have no desire to either, so it's all good. I just know that he was not The One and I know that he came to realize that as well.

But yeah, back to my point. Niggas might be wearing sheep's clothing, but that wolf's nose is stickin' out through the mask. I just make the decision to look for it from the get-go.

D. D, D, D.

Her "boo" is soooooooo transparent, but she just don't see it. And it really bothers me but that's one person that I am through giving good advice too. I mean, I be giving her my good stuff and she don't use it! Hmph! So yeah, I am not going to tell her what I know to be best for her in this situation. They say experience is the best teacher but damn!

*shrug* What can ya do?

Alright, I am sliding down off the side of my soapbox. I think I don' busted all the windows on my glass house and my high-ass horse is kneeling down to let me off so I'm done on the subject....for right now.

I'll see what tomorrow (or even tonight) brings.

In other news, I'm thinking of becoming a Dominatrix.

LOL!!!!!

For real though, I am! I think I have the personality for it and I know I can get into a guy's mind pretty easily...

Hmmmm, just a thought.

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