Tuesday, Jun. 12, 2007 - 11:49 a.m.

I laughed at myself last night. I was trying to make a decision to call Jorge or not. In the process, I found myself bargaining with myself. I said, "Well, it's alright if I call Jorge 'cause I did think to myself earlier that if I did not chill with David tonight, that I would call Jorge."

I didn't want to call Jorge 'cause I felt like he should've been calling me. Granted, up until that point, he had. But still. I just feel like that's handing over a certain kind of power to a dude, when he has a female calling him. But then again, I'm not trying to think of Jorge as a prospect, right? So what should it matter?

So after bargaining with myself for about 2.63 minutes, I hit the dial button and let 'er rip. LOL! The whole time the phone was ringing, I was doing the "please don't pick up" schtick. Didn't work. He picked up.

Nice easy conversation again. Granted, I had more fun talking to him Friday night when I was tipsy 'cause I wasn't trying to be polite or politically correct, which, for the most part, I am not even when I'm not tipsy. But still. There's always a little bit of holding back on my part.

Okay, I just confused myself. Moving on.

So yeah, I found the fatal flaw in Jorge:

He talked about somewhere he went over the weekend and the kind of people that were there and the kind of music that was playing and he said, "Yeah, they were, like, from the 'PJs' or somewhere like that."

*raises hand while trying to look past all the "like"s in Jorge's speech* I'm from the 'PJs' or something like that.

Yeah, me.

We have yet to get into a conversation about our lives growing up, so he has no clue where I'm from or what I've seen. I wanted to laugh more than I was offended because it's like, you don't even know who you're speaking to right now. Yes, I'm educated and, at this point, a working professional. But I came from the projects. Is something wrong with me?

We got into a conversation about children and he stated that he would limit the number to 2 because he would want to be able to provide "the best" for his children - the best private school education...

That's where I had to interrupt him. I received an excellent education from my public school. Education can definitely be what you make it under any circumstances.

I just felt like the curtain was closing in front of my closed eyes (it was late when we were talking). The smoke had cleared, the mirrors weren't working their tricks anymore. Jorge is human and he has his views. Boo!

Is it a shame that I'm happy right now though? Like, I don't have to worry about getting caught up 'cause it just is not gonna happen?

Yay! Yippee!!!

Right?

I'on know. Right now, all I know is that in my own sick and twisted way, I feel a sense of relief about this situation. I have received confirmation that Jorge is not TheOne so I no longer need to concern myself with ideas of him possibly being TheOne.

Unfortunately for him, that also knocks him out of the running to have The A**** Experience. Yep, he's not gonna get this. Not gonna happen. I think he'd be good but then again, I'm starting to think he may just be talking a good game. I've learned from experience - the ones who don't do NO talkin' ahead of time, them the ones that will turn you out.

In other Friday night news, this dude tried to kiss me at the cluhhh. It wouldn't have been so bad had we not just had a full discussion in which I made it clear that I was not even considering him as a prospect. We were having a serious debate (yes, in the cluhhh) and I definitely had to put him in his place in a respectful manner.

Not five minutes later, this fool gon' turn and catch all my damn teeth with his lips. All my teeth! LOL!!! I wanted to yell, "What the hell are you doing?!" but I maintained my composure.

Honestly, I've been kind of upset about it ever since. Here I am, trying to have an adult conversation with a member of the male population, trying to keep it clean and he gon' try and take it somewhere else. Now had he been drunk, maybe he coulda got excused. But homeboy was straight sober. I was tipsy but not that tipsy.

I just can't understand why it is so hard to just meet a guy and be friends. Why must all this other foolishness be introduced? Ugh.

Okay, but back to Jorge. Now I don't even know if I want to talk to him on the phone anymore, much less see him when he comes back to Miami next month, now that I've fallen out of like with him. Okay, truthfully, I'm not all the way out of like with him but I'm sho'll knocking on the door to Out-of-Likeville... Truth be told, I'm not disappointed in him. Everybody has their opinions and are definitely entitled to their opinions and feelings. But I don't agree with people being "elitist". Nobody is better than anybody else. Each person has their something, which is what makes us all individuals, all human beings. Even the appearance of thinking that someone is beneath you based on their circumstances will cause me to see you in a different light.

Alright, fine! I know I'm just being extra-harsh about this because it gives me a way out but still! I have my rights! I can do what I want with my own thoughts! Nobody's the boss of me!

Well, except that guy over there with the straight-jacket. But if I keep acting like I don't see him, I think he'll leave.

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