Friday, May. 11, 2007 - 3:50 p.m.

Ahhhh, the perils of never having a regular damn period.

I'm "late" but I'm not alarmed...yet. Why? Because I have never really had a regular period to begin with. Had my period not come right on "schedule" like it did last month, I wouldn't be so confused now.

I took an f'n pregnancy test at Tae's request the week before last. It came out negative. However, that time, according to calculations, was not the proper time to take the test, as I wasn't yet technically "late" with my period. But I figured since the one before had come, might as well go on ahead and trust those results.

The period before came promptly and right on time one week after I had that whole unprotected sex bit with TheBouncer. So I figured at that point, there was no need to wonder. Nevertheless, I did and still am.

I was supposed to have a gyno appt today but me, being a responsible and prompt (ha!) individual, I called to confirm my appt 1-hour prior to and of course it was nowhere in the damn system.

I am STILL enraged about that one. I damn-near BLEW UP at the receptionist and even called back, which made me seem more like a crazed lunatic than before.

I am really sitting up here huffing and puffing about not having that appointment today. I even had a thought for a millisecond that I could almost see how someone could go into such a blind rage that they would go pos.tal...but then I came to my senses. There is no excuse for going po.stal.

The level of anger that I am experiencing though... I can only explain it by just knowing that my damn period is about to come on. 'Cause I'm not this angry on a regular basis. I mean, damn. I feel like I need a strap to hold me down in my chair 'cause I'm 'bout to hop up and just go nuts on these folks.

I just realized that I am gritting my teeth right now.

Yeah, Virginia must be about to make her debut 'cause this just can't be anything else.

Either way, as soon as I spoke with TheBouncer after he landed in town yesterday, I told him I was out of commission on behalf of Virginia. I'm just not up to the what-ifs anymore.

Speaking (twice) of TheBouncer, I told him that "this" isn't what I want anymore. I told him in many uncertain terms but before he leaves, I will make sure to tell him in PLENTY not so uncertain terms.

I'm done. 2007 is shaping up to be a big year for me and I can't have anything or anyone dragging me down. At least, not anything more and anyone more than already are dragging me down.

So I've been doing very well on this whole At.kin.s diet. I've been really strict and conscious of what I'm eating, etc. However, last night, I went to a hoity-toity function and yes, I indulged. I had some Rum Punch and about three lil' lightweight carbtastic hors d'ouevres. I resolved to start over afresh today but, alas, that whole doctor's appointment situation turned me onto some tres lech.es available in the offcice.

I'ma try to hold it together for the rest of the day but I make NO PROMISES. If I am driven to some lasagna later today, oh the hell well. I'll get it right sooner or later.

The most important thing is that I fit into my bridesmaid dress on June 3. Outside of that, as of my mindstate today, I ain't worried about shit else.

I am just pissed off right now and I can't control it!!!!

I am absolutely looking forward to my appointment with the chiropractor this evening. That office in general just makes me calm the hell down. Fruity-ass receptionist guy, Fa.bio-lookin' doctor and all! I cannot wait for them to help me escape my mind for a little while, for real. And I know they can do it!

I just don't feel like doing a damn thang right about now. Not. at. all.

I'm even considering going out tonight to the same ol' spot for the same ol' drinks and D's same ol' foolishness just to relieve some stress.

If Dave weren't actin' a fool, I would sho'll hit him up for a smoke. But it's all good. I may just hit up Bridg and find out who her weed man is. How 'bout them apples and peaches and pears? That way, I can go, smoke, and not have to deal with anything else. No "tension", no confusion, no nunna that. Just smoke and roll out.

Well, I just txtd Bridg, "Where you at?!" and her reply was all about going to smoke and drink and later and that I should come.

I'm there. Goodnight Irene!

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