"I'm missing you..."
2007-03-22 - 4:20 p.m.
I went to get my hair done last night...
I'm thinking I need to take a break from my stylist. I mean, she's the top stylist for locs in Mi.ami but... I don't know...
She's going through so much in her personal life. Everytime I go, there's an update to the story. More drama, more drama.
I'm really fiending for a business-like relationship with a stylist - where I come in, my appointment is definitely in the book so it ain't a surprise when I walk through the door, I can sit quietly while my head is worked on and that's it. I enjoy sitting peacefully while I'm getting my hair done. As painful as it can tend to be, it's relaxing. (I like pain, 'member?)
I'm not getting that with my stylist. Everytime I leave, I leave with a tiny piece of sadness 'cause I start to think about what she may be facing when she gets home. (I am ever the internalizer of other people's problems!) She's dealing with it all very openly - she cut all her hair off (when I started going to her shop, she had locs almost to the ground), she has tattoed half her body including an entire arm, she's lost major weight after already being on the small side... So it's not like I can just go in and ignore that she's hurting.
I'm like that anywhere I go and I can sense that someone has some sadness going on in their lives. I start to empathize or sympathize and get sad right along with them.
I'm trying to have some happiness in my life right now, mkay? Thanx.
Okay, I have to admit that I hollered out loud when Ty.rie started boo-hoo crying in the back of the car on the Rea.l Wor.ld. I'm sorry but that right there was funny. LOL!
Oh yeah, I didn't mention that I was watching the Rea.l Wor.ld at Tito's house, did I? LOL!!!
He DV.R'd Pr.ison Brea.k which I missed on Monday 'cause I was working out and he must have been sleeping after driving all the way back from N.C with Miss E and their mom. So we watched it together last night.
I don't like Tito anymore. I just don't. It's gone. I can say that attraction was due to boredom and stress. Now that my life feels less stressful and I'm excited about working out and going back to grad school, I'm not as bored anymore. So yeah, I'm over that whole Tito "crush". It was fun while it lasted.
So I have some Yoga and Pilates DVDs that I have yet to view. I'm gonna do one of the two tonight. I would go to the gym and do the Pre.Cor machine but I ain't tryin' to sweat out my fresh do - yes, the black woman's inhibitor! LOL! For real though, I'm sorry but some things are just non-negotiable. I just want my hair to look fresh for tomorrow. After tomorrow, I'll get back to not caring about the sweat that is going all up and through my locs.
Oh, what's going on tomorrow?
Well, let's just say tomorrow I'll be free to eat whatever the hecky I wanna eat! YAY!!!! LOL!
Naw, for real. Today is the last day of my fast. The very last day. Today is 21 days of ONLY fruits and vegetables - no CHEESE (sob), no bread, no rice, no MEAT (sob!!!).
I swear, that first week or maybe even the first couple of days, I was seriously contemplating just giving up on the whole thing altogether. I mean, really. I was like, is it really this serious?
Thank the Lord that he did not allow me to give up. He did not allow me to say, "I don't feel like it so I'm not doing it." No, he didn't allow me to do something that I would have regretted and felt terrible about for who knows how long.
He just stood by me and walked with me and helped me out and I loved it. Really, I have loved this experience.
At first, I was kinda upset 'cause I didn't feel like (I heard the angels singing) "Ahhhhhhh". I just felt like I wasn't focused and it wasn't going to be of benefit to any of the parties involved - me and what I was trying to experience and my attitude towards building a better relationship with my God. But I know better now and I see the benefit and the possibly lasting effects.
I'm happy today. :)