2007-01-25 - 12:43 p.m.

First and foremost, thank the Lord for my butt. I do appreciate it. I really do. Even though it's not in the shape I want it to be right now, I still appreciate it.

So thank you Lord for that.

So Tuesday night, I had some lofty goals. I wanted to go by Miss E's to watch the 'Heroes' season premiere episode that I totally missed due to work (job #1) drama. She had it recorded per my request. LOL! Since I would be in the area, I figured I would drop off Tito's movies that I had borrowed early fall of last year and then head off to the theatre so I could put in a full night's work.

Backstory
Out of the blue on Monday evening, Tito sent me a text requesting his movies. It is important to remember that the last request I received from him to return his movies came at the end of last year. It is also important to note that he and I share a mututal fascination with the show Heroes. We can talk extensively about it - our own theories and interpretations. LOL! Furthermore, we had tried to tentatively schedule an episode watch where I would show him how to make my potato salad and all, but due to my hectic schedule, that idea did not come to fruition.

So was it coincidence that he would request for me to bring the movies over shortly before the season premiere episode was scheduled to air?

That would be a "no". It was no coincidence at all.

I peeped "game" and tried to make it happen but due to a lapse in communication, it didn't. I wasn't about to miss a moment of the show (or so I thought) to drive over to where he was. So, I settled back in my bed and prepared to be absorbed.

Alas, at the exact moment the narrator began to speak, my cell phone rang and all my previously laid plans were trampled upon. *sniff*

End of Backstory.

It's all good though. Like I said, Miss E had it recorded so I was able to enjoy it with her (since she was dozing all up and through the original airing on Monday and missed half of it her doggon' self).

So yeah, after I left her place, I went to Tito's.

When I got there, he was in the restroom so I had to stand outside and wait about 30 seconds. He opened the door and threw his arms open for a hug. (He is sooooo affectionate, it's scary sometimes.) I gave him a hug and he kissed my cheek. (He's so damn clean and innocent, it's yucky. LOL! That's funny 'cause if he was nasty and freaky, I'd feel more comfortable.)

I walked in, movies extended in front of me, not knowing what to expect. He walked over to his massage chair and proceeded to get comfortable so I walked over to the couch and proceeded to do the same thing. He kept quite a good distance by sitting in the chair. I know him and how he thinks, so I wasn't offended by that. (Now let it have been somebody I was feelin' physically who sat waaay in another chair - I might've started to get pissed. LOL!)

We talked a little bit and then I noticed some magazines. He only reads Photography Magazine and some gaming magazine. Tito needs an interesting woman in his life. He really does. I'm not saying he needs me in his life, I'm just saying he needs a woman who is interesting to drag him away from his "1-2-3, a-b-c" life.

So yeah, I like photography. But he didn't know that. But I do, I always have. I still have thoughts of taking a photography class - it's just a matter of finding the time. I really considered it back in high school and college but it just wasn't feasible. Eventually I will though.

But I said all of that to show why I would pick up a Photography Magazine and sit there and read it. Tito was amazed to say the least. LOL!!!!

He is always surprised at my damn interests. I'm not just a ghetto girl. I'm an educated ghetto girl who enjoys learning new information and being open to different things. I be tryin' to show folks that but they don't be payin' attention. Oh well. LOL.

So yeah, we talked about photography a lil' bit and then...

He went in his computer room and started chattin' on the internet! What kinda?!?!

But it was all good, really and truly. It wasn't an uncomfortable situation. I had the opportunity to sit and watch some tv which, everybody knows, I haven't had a chance to do in the past couple of weeks, so that was realllll nice. Tito would come and check on me every few minutes but for the most part, he was where he was and I was where I was.

My mind never stops working unless I FORCE it to so, while Tito was in his computer room, I allowed myself to imagine, for a split second, that we were in a relationship and just living out one of our regular evenings together. Him doing his thing, me doing mine - both of us totally and completely comfortable. And it was cute. I didn't see a problem with it. But then I forced myself back to reality and away from those imaginings.

I just don't understand my thoughts towards Tito. I don't understand how I can be so attracted to someone's personality but not attracted to the person physically. Not that Tito is ugly to me or that I am offended by his physical, just that I don't really have a sexual attraction to him whatsoever. I draw a complete blank if I ever even try to think of us together physically. It's like, when I think of him physically, I feel like I'm thinking about my brother and I damn-near get disgusted. It's really weird though, 'cause when I think about his personality, I think of him as being relationship material...

I don't know. I swear I'm the most confusing person I know. LOL! At least everybody else's confusion, I understand. Mine? I don't be knowing WHAT the hell is going on with me. LOL!!

So yeah, I left with another movie in my hand that has to be returned this weekend... Yet another reason to go by his house. A mess, right?! LOL! And he KEPT stating, "You have to come here and return it. I want to see you here with my movie in your hand this weekend." LOL! Over and over, like a damn mantra.

I'll get it over there. He ain't got to worry. LOL!

On the way to the door to leave, I noticed Tito was 'bout to break his neck to get his shoes on. He wanted to show me his new cars. Yes, carS. LOL! He got one to ride around the town in and one to drive to work in. He is so backwards 'cause the work car is going to get the most wear and tear but that's the one that's brand spanking new... Ooookay. LOL! But the one to ride around town in is niiiiiccceee.

You can tell he is the kind of person to seek approval from the people who's approval he cares to receive. He was soooo happy I liked his lil' cars. He is so cute. LOL!!!

So the showing was done and I was ready to press on to my next destination - the theatre. I said 'bye and walked to my car. He started looking forlorn, which is when I realized he was expecting a hug goodbye. So I made the effort to give him a hug goodbye and he was elated! LOL!! I am not even exaggerating. His whole countenance changed.

I've been reading this book, "The Celestial Sexpot's Handbook" by Kiki T. It is very informative, I must say. I find myself as interested and excited to read it as I would a regular novel. The author is really funny and very well-informed about the topic. I find myself agreeing with her on a lot of the things she points out. But she's given me a lot of insight to Tito. Some things increase my interest in him, some make me want to banish all of my thoughts and move on.

I don't know, I guess I'll just see where this situation takes me. I have no desires either way. I'm not caught up in Tito or anything. I'm just curious at this point. Only time will tell.

Oh yeah, I knew I forgot something. Right as I was saying my goodbye to Tito, I heard a lil' text message come through on my cell phone. Guess who it was from...TheBouncer. Mmmhmmm. I am so over our charade. But whatever. It's great 'cause he's not here so I don't have to deal with that one.

And then there's Jerramy... Nothing big at all, just that he sent out a message on my.space that he lost his cell phone, so he doesn't have anybody's number unless it's memorized. He don't need my number and I surely hope he doesn't have it memorized so I don't have to hear from him again in life. Not that I hate him, just that I never could figure him out. Best to leave that in the past.

P.S. This is a GREAT site if anybody wants to mess with anybody else's head: anontxt dot com .

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