2006-10-06 - 5:00 p.m.

Ya know, I just don't understand grown men and playing games. I really don't. Grown, old men, tryna play games. It just makes no sense to me.

I bought the cutest little shirt yesterday for $5.99. "100% Natural - No Artificial Ingredients". Brown. So cute!

So I wore my cute little brown shirt to the venue yesterday where the old man tryin' to play games (aka Real) was gonna be performing. I had honestly forgotten that he was supposed to perform. I was just goin' 'cause Miss E, Dee and D wanted to go. Being that I left before the show last week (when my cuz was giving birth), I was down.

So me and the gurls are in the lobby and Real walks in. Everybody does the friendly "hey"s and we gurls return to our conversation with a few interjections from Real. This goes on for about 15 minutes.

Fast forward to the show. It is now Real's time to shine, as he is the feature for the night. For his fourth and final piece, he launches into "Woman, let me tell you" something, something, something. I can't remember the beginning but I know it started off strong. He says a few lines and then, calm as pie (wtf? where did "calm as pie" come from?! LOL!) says, "I just f'd up my poem." Everybody is laughing and what not. He states that he was distracted by something in particular and then proceeds to attempt to restart. He gets out, literally, one or two words, and then stops again. We all start laughing.

This fool proceeds to point in my direction and say, "Look at chocolate with the "100% Natural" shirt on.

Of course, all heads turn.

Now why you wanna go and do that love, huh? Now, why you wanna go and do that? And do THAT?!"

I just stared him down. What else could I do?!

But ya know, even that wouldn't have been so bad, had he not THEN proceeded to say, "And I'm not even a breast man!"

I guess I failed to mention that the 100% Natural was sitting right on top of my breasts. Yep, right on top of these C-damn-near-D's. Which, even up until right now, I didn't realize could be applied to my damn breasts. I just got it 'causa the hair and my general persona. NEVER thought about my damn breasts.

Even last night, I figured he just mentioned it because the phrase was sitting on my breasts, which he obviously were looking at. I just caught the full meaning of what he said.

Which makes it all even worse.

My thing is, why would you not mention anything when we are out in the lobby conversing?

I also forgot to mention that I had gotten up from the couch where me and the gurls were chilling to go look at the flyers and such on a nearby table. I was bent over (yes I was) 'cause the table was kinda low. I couldn't bend at the knees 'cause then everythang woulda bene exposed. I figured I was being less stank by bending the way I was. As I was reading, Real walked in the door and, according to the gurls who, from what I could hear, were in active conversation with him, his full attention was focused on my displayed derrierre. I swear I can't win.

Again, with all those opportunities, why no comment when we're face to face? Why wait until we're in a room FULL of people to go there? Woulda been different had those things been said in my ear (umm hmmmmmmmm). He lucky I'm not easily embarrassed, although I did feel the temperature under my arms go up about 15 degrees when everybody turned around. LOL.

But one thing that keeps running through my head about that particular poem was the line about "I'll just sit and breathe on the clit for half an hour."

I swear, I would just stand up and die if a nigga ever did that to me. Just crumble to the floor and stop breathing. Blood would just stop running through my veins. This female would just cease to exist 'cause I'd be don' died from pleasure.

As far as him and that poem are concerned, actions speak louder than words. Although, I have to say, them words was reverberating REAL (no pun intended) LOUD up in my ears! LOL.

So I am frustrated right now. Totally sexually frustrated. And there is nothing I want to do about it. LOL.

Actually, let me rephrase that, there is nothing I am GOING to do about it right now. Maybe I'll do some Yoga or something. LOL. But no sex. Don't feel like it.

'Cause if I have sex right now, I don't want it to be no wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am-heat-of-the-moment type stuff. I'm tryin' to get some sloooowwww, in the grooove type sex if I get it. And I don't know no nigga who's up for that as a side situation. No nigga that I've previously dealt with, anyway.

So, the frustration will just have to continue...for now.

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