2006-10-02 - 5:19 p.m.

So I'm tatted up.

And I feel the same.

Albeit just a little different. :)

I feel a little freer. Almost as if a piece of my stress-bubble-self was pierced, allowing some of that nasty stress to find itself out of me.

I'm still stressed, don't get me wrong. But I do feel just a little different. And that feels good.

I have a piece of a smile on my face right now, and that makes me happy.

So nothing can ever be straight-laced with me. LOL.

Fran was there, with her undercover bisexual self (a story in itself). The dude lives in a GHETTO apartment complex. Kids and people all out in the parking lot and on their balconies. I was like, "Is anybody's electricity on up in this piece?!?!" The way they were outside... I mean, really. It was nighttime! LOL!

So yeah. He lives with his momma, even though he is one of the most well-known and busiest tatters in the hood. In a little room - look like he been there since he was in high school.

He's a nice guy though. Very nice.

The whole thing took 'bout 5-7 minutes. Not long at all.

I didn't know what to expect, as far as pain. But it wasn't bad at all. Matter fact, I wanted another one as soon as that one was finished. I ain't gon' lie, it stung. At times more than others. But it didn't necessarily hurt. I know what "hurt" feels like - for me anyways - and that wasn't it.

I was more nervous about the cleanliness of it all than anything. But he pulled out the sterile needles right in my face. Everything was clean and in it's rightful place.

But yeah, I am ready for my next one. SOON. LOL. But I'ma try and give it time.

I just felt like yesterday, October 1, 2006, was the start of something new for me. What exactly, I don't know. But it's the start of something. I could feel it.

Yesterday, I made the final decision to move at the beginning of 2007. I have to. I'm just not happy where I'm at and that makes no sense. I'm 25 and not happy at "home". So I need to get me a "home" where I can be happy at. And I'm gonna make that happen.

Once again, I am not afraid to live in the hood. Even where we went last night. And that was THE HOOD. As long as the rent is what I'm lookin' to pay, I don't mind living there.

Ain't no room for luxury living on a regular salary in Mia.mi. I would love to do it, but realistically, I can't. And I'm not gonna stress myself about that either. I'm just gon' get up, get what I can get and keep it moving.

I wanted to stay home and save up, etc., etc. But my peace of mind is just about long gone. And I want it back.

I didn't tell the folks at the theatre that I'm 'bout to be out because honestly, I didn't get the opportunity. But hopefully, I'll get the chance to tell them tonight. 'Cause I have to get it out.

I keep not telling them because I don't want to feel bad but I have to get over it. They need to know.

I think me feeling like I NEEDED a tattoo was really because I wanted to experience that freedom. And I'm beggining to feel it. And I hope it extends into other areas of my life, giving me the courage to live the life I've always wanted to live.

Back to my tattoo experience... LOL.

Fran asked, "Why would you get it there?!? Who gon' see that?!?!?"

My momma asked, "That's only for a special man to see, huh?"

LOL!

Damn right. I wanna have a bunch of hidden secrets on me. That's why I'm thinkin' about stickin' wit da same dude that did this tatt. I'ma give it some time though, so I can see how the one I have comes out. If it comes out niiiiice, I'ma have him do some more for me.

Even though it was in a ghetto set-up, I just feel like it was much more private than a shop. I don't want any and everybody knowin' what I got and where. I prefer that only a select few know. Especially when it comes to men. Only a couple will know what I have and where.

So so far, he's the only dude that knows I have the one I got. And for a while, he will be the only one that knows. Don't no other nigga need to know right now.

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