"The more I know, the less I understand."
2006-08-18 - 10:16 p.m.
Truer words have not been spoken Don Henley. Truer words!
Okay. I need to stop watching the History channel and all their 9-11 coverage STAT. I'm basically watching the same sad stories over and over again and it's just driving me crazy. But I guess everything happens for a reason, 'cause a man I just saw in this story I'm watching tonight said something about God that struck me so much, I just don't know what to do with myself. God is real. There is no doubt.
I just cannot imagine being in that situation. I swear. I watched it go down on television and when that second plane hit and I couldn't get in touch with my momma (she works in a gubmint building downtown) 'cause the phones were down, I swear! I just got in my bed and pulled the covers over me. I just felt so helpless. It's just so scary, I cannot imagine.
I cannot imagine.
So I've been sick all week. A nasty sick. I'm finally recovering. Happy about that, 'cause when my throat is aching, I am not a happy chick. At all. Which seems very strange to think that way, sitting here STILL watching a 9-11 story on the History channel. I just can't turn away.
So TheBouncer is here. Got here this afternoon. He's expecting me to be sitting here, waiting on him to call, which he is probably so tied up visiting folk that he won't have time to see me tonight. I didn't think I was looking forward to seeing him but innocently talking to him at 6:59am had me surprised to find parts of my anatomy "responding". Virginia is a nut. No pun intended. LOL. It's been three months, what can I say.
So, if he doesn't call to handle some business tonight, I will probably be a little cranky tomorrow. LOL.
I cannot BELIEVE that second tower came down in less than 15 seconds. 1300 feet high. Crazy.
Every material thing that's supposed to be invincible has failed. Nothing material is invincible.
Okay. I just need to stop watching tv. Period. I need to turn this sucka off, go get that "Love For Sale", and just act a monkey in my damn room.
Oh yeah, I'm 'bout to write that letter to my 25-year-old self. I don't know what I'ma say to her, but I'ma talk to her.
"Stared at the sun 'till it burned out my eyesight! Blind, but a man must move on. No time for regrets. Who lives to reverse?"
Ahhhh, Bilal! You are my crack! For true, for true!
But that India/Don is making me cry. I thought it was 'causa those Virginia hormones but for real. I don't know. "And my heart is so shattered, but I'm thinkin' about forgiveness. Forgiveness. Even if - even if - you don't love me anymore." My eyes get misty everytime I hear that line.
Well, I have a decision to make. Minor as all hell, but a decision. I feel like I'm sitting around waiting on this fool and I just don't like that feeling. So I'm like, should I just take my ass on to the club or what? I don't necessarily feel like going out, but I'm feeling cooped up, being as I've been in the house for much of this week. I don't know...
If I didn't feel like I was sitting around, waiting for his call, I wouldn't even consider going out. This is effin' with my mental. Camille told my ass in '99 not to start havin' sex. WHY didn't I listen to her?!?!