"APRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
2005-12-11 - 12:02 p.m.
PSA
Oooo, oooo, oooo.
PLEASE be advised: If you so decide to cut up even the least bit over the course of our first few (few being 1 to 3) conversations, you will be removed from the list; "cut up" being defined as saying something extremely egotistical/rude/personally untrue (where you told me a lie but messed around and told the truth on yourself without even realizing it) or telling me you will or we can do "a" or "b" and then not coming through.
Excuses, apologies and begging will not be accepted.
Do understand that this policy is in place to weed out the time wasters present in the vast sea (yeah right) of wanna-be-suitors.
End of PSA.
Okay, now that that's over and done with.
I found myself in a hilarious and even kind of embarassing situation a past Saturday morning. I kinda want to remember it but then again, I want to push it to the back of my mind and leave it the hell there. LOL. So, I won't go into specifics and I won't leave myself a hint. It happened. I can laugh about it. Period.
It's just even more funny to me because it's something that should have happened back when I was in high school or something. Not now. LOL.
So yeah, I'm contemplating revisiting the Big C. I came off it earlier this year (and almost regret that immediate decision - Jerramy...yuck). It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. The physical part was a piece of cake, really. It was the mental that was driving me crazy. And the fact that I felt like certain individuals could sense it and that made them try my resolve.
But life was much simpler. Really and truly it was. Less stress. Less worry. Less thought wasted. But I'm greedy now. I don't know. We'll see how I work that out. Maybe for the '06 or something. We'll see.
But back to the damn PSA. I don't know who some of these niggas really think they are. That they can try to try a female, try and play me for the okey doke, without those kinds of priviledges. Ain't did nothin' to earn me actin' dumb over them but yet they wanna try. I don't know what they're used to but I tell you they don't get it here.
So their feelings get hurt when they're calling and texting and getting NO reply. I am so glad that I stick to my policy about only giving out my cell phone number. A nigga ain't got NO way to track me. All you can do is blow up the cell phone and have your name and number all over my caller ID. How frustrating, I'm sure. LOL.
This female right here is really as busy as I say I am. I don't have time to waste on foolish niggas or foolishness. They don't believe me 'till they experience the cut-off. Then the desperation kicks in. It's like clockwork. But once they've lost, they've lost. No matter how hard they try from that point on, there's no hope. And I try to be honest and let them know, the ones I feel can handle it. Even still, you'd think I was speaking another language. Talkin' backwards like the boy on "Lost". Like what I'm sayin' ain't really what I'm sayin', know what I'm sayin'? Tellin' me they understand the words that are coming out of my mouth but will turn right around and try to get me to say the opposite of what I just said.
I feel like I've said this at least ten times before but it still rings oh so damn true. I can't seem to escape this phenomenon.
And before I forget because it kinda relates to this, I stopped by ThePoet's place of business last week a couple weeks ago (this post was also written a couple weeks ago - LOL) just to mess with his head. ThePoet is from way back. Like 2003. LOL. Waaaay back. LOL. Anyway, he was what I thought was a crush but instead was really fascination with his craft. I've moved past it but every girl likes to revisit once in a while.
So I stopped by under a work-related premise. While I'm there, he's reminding me of our first "date", which I had completely forgotten about. I mean, nigga was goin' into detail. I'm like, "Oh yeah! That night did happen!" with that face that says you had completely forgotten but you remember now. LOL.
Please believe I move on. I mean, I like to keep certain memories so that I can reflect and relive them again in my mind. But minor stuff will get forgotten. And yes my dear, you are now minor in my mind. Sittin' up there tryna play like he had it all together, tryin' to play silly little games (even though he's about 15 years older than me), tryin to be playa playa. Messed around and got forgot! LOL. I left with an open invitation for a date even though while I was standing there talkin' to him I am just about sure he answered and quickly hung up a call from a female he might be dealing with .
Yeah, I like validation. I like to know that I'm still on a nigga mind - especially somebody that never even had a taste of the A**** Experience.
But yeah, I want December to be my month. I have to express how utterly pleased I am to have paid off my damn Target card. That one was haunting me for real. But she's all paid off now. All paid off. Capital One still has me by my figurative balls but hopefully, I can scrounge up something for them too.
But yeah, I now have half the debt I did have. And that feels extremely good. Like, I can lay down and almost rest now. That damn good. And I still have money left over. Amazing.
And now to today for real... LOL
Me and D went to dance to the sounds of DJ Jazzy Jeff last night. It was GREEEAATTTT! (Okay, no more Tony the Tigerness. LOL) The entire outing was just great all in itself. Really it was. MdotBlake kicked it up a notch with his counting and consideration. And I just can't believe that at the point where we left (boooo D!!!), Jazzy Jeff was STILL PLAYING!!!! LOL. It was wonderful though. I walked outta there lookin' like I had taken a dip in the pool. I told D we were literally at the HOTTEST party in town. (Shine, I will love you when your hair turns gray just as long as your club don't change. LOL!!!!)
Christmas is around the corner and I know for a fact that people are getting plants and homemade gifts from me this year. And I dare somebody to not appreciate it. This year saw me donating PLENTY of my hard-earned money to others' problems so I've already gifted for the year. Gave out some of the best if you ask me and them. So I shall not entertain any complaints. Periot!
I'm ready to get back into me. I'm ready to close my eyes, open 'em up, and only see myself. What's holding me back from that? I don't want people to be mad with me for caring about myself for a change. But at this point, I think I'm ready for that. I really do.