"This is just another phase of life..."
2005-09-25 - 6:15 p.m.
It's funny that I don't even feel like writing today but here I am.
So first, I was just having a convo with Vita and she asked me about SWA (maybe Will, I don't remember what I called him last). I told her I just got a text from him last week about his birthday party; how I find it interesting that I'm still in his address book. I only called him twice, I think. I texted him maybe... I just realized something. X on this subject. "Case closed."
I was in my older cousin's wedding yesterday. We all grew up as sisters for the first few years of my life. I'm happy for her, just worried, I guess. I just pray her husband is for real. I pray what they say they have is for real. I pray for the best for them.
I've realized that I've been very pessimistic about people lately. I don't know where it came from but I'm just real untrusting lately. I wanna get over it 'cause it's causing me to not give anybody a chance with anything. And that's not necessarily fair.
And being in the wedding, I was looking out over the audience and the church and almost not even questioning whether or not I would ever get married. It was like I couldn't really care one way or the other. It's weird. I just really don't care. I mean, if it happens, it happens. If it don't, oh the hell well. Life goes on.
But right now, I'm not happy. I mean, I am, but I'm not. Things are coasting and that's irritating the hell out of me. I wanna go back to making crazy things happen. Just going all bucwild with getting out there and experiencing life. But I feel like I need to get in order first and I'm just having the darndest time getting to that point. I don't know what's going on right now. All I know is I need a nap. So I'm finna take one.