2004-12-13 - 4:15 p.m.

Jamie Foxx knows what the hell he is talkin' about! LOL!

So my eyes was low from that chiefin' Friday night. I felt like the stress in my life was somewhat lessened by the talk I had with my boss last week so hey, it was time for a celebration.

Set it up with Reggie and he came through. I ain't smoke too much though. The process itself is not really that fun, ya know? Just suckin' smoke into my lungs... So I just did a little and called it a night. It didn't have too much of an effect on me besides having me searching for what, I never found out, and the fact that I could feel the blood moving under my skin all over my face. I didn't have no euphoric feeling and I didn't expect one too much. I was pretty much what I wanted to be - relaxed.

J took advantage of my altered state to have me call this dude she wanted to sleep with. Okay, time for a backstory!

January. Superbowl party. Right? I think so. Actually, it was late last year sometime. D had a house party to which her brother and sister's friends were invited. In rolls this tall, caramel (for lack of a better word) loc'd up dude. Real friendly. Real "sincere" aura about him. David.

I took a glance and got kinda interested ('cause I don't really be feelin' slim dudes) but then his girlfriend and three children came in the door behind him and all interest I held dissipated.

We've hung out at various functions we've seen each other at. I'm always greeted with a nice big hug and a healthy "A****!" Alright.

So, fast-forward to three months ago. News spreads like wildfire that David has broken up with his girlfriend. Come to find out, only one of the children was his. He was just supporting her other two children as his own. J JUMPED on this information and made sure that he was given her number to call.

My m.o. is normally big muscular dudes so nobody even knows that I was ever feelin' David at all, if even only for that one moment before the baggage followed him into the house. When I found out he was now single, that lil' bit 'o interest kinda resurfaced but I figured it was too soon after his breakup, he would probably get back with his ex, blah blah blah.

So J's plan fell through. She went and chilled with him but he didn't call her after that.

So fast-forward (again) to Friday night. I'm high and J knows that David smokes so she wants me to call and ask him to come over to smoke (even though she doesn't smoke - it was just me and Reggie smokin' and Reggie had been done (yes, "been done") left). So I call him but he's sittin' outside of a club, waitin' to go in with some peoples. I go out on the balcony and ask him about what happened between him and J. We talk up until he's physically gettin' patted by security. LOL.

He calls me back Saturday evening. The reason he wasn't feelin' J was he felt she was too judgemental and maybe it came as a result of some deficiency she felt within herself, which I can completely understand. I've heard that from a few people but a person has to want to make that change about themselves for themselves.

So out of the blue, he's asking me all these personal questions and what not. I'm all like "what is goin' on" even though I'm kinda likin' it. But Saturday was a full day for my phone so the battery died.

Sunday comes and I explain to J that David felt she was a bit judgemental. I didn't tell her the whole story though so she wanted me to call David back and explain to him that what she said wasn't really what she meant. So, once again, I'm in a situation where I'm communicating to someone I have an interest in on behalf of someone else. Why do I this to myself? I don't know. It's that S&M in me.

So I call David last night and that bit of information is quickly moved on from as we get into a conversation about enjoying life and all it has to offer and his relationship wtih his ex and... Why am I romanticizing this?

Stop it A****! Stop it!

In the end, I will say that he has dropped a couple blatant hints and even asked when I'm going to come chill with him. And I've resolved that I don't even want to go down this road where I'm allowing myself to feel something for somebody that everybody else is interested in as well. If it was for me, everybody and they momma wouldn't have their hands reaching out for it.

Period.

But yeah, I got my hair done. I'm happy about that. What else? The weekend wasn't too stressful, so that was good. Saturday was just a really long day. But I made it through.

I need some willpower. And a chef for a boyfriend. *hint, hint* LOL!!!!

Bye.

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