"Slowly, surely, I walk away from self-serving, undeserving, constantly hurting me love"
2004-09-30 - 2:38 p.m.
So my boss is dealing with some mess. I feel bad for him. But it's a situation he's gotten himself into.
But it's good for me too (I'm so selfish, I take a lesson from everybody's situation). I get to see that you can't do things knowing that you're wrong and not expect any repercussions. I probably do that everyday (talking about people, things I do when I'm driving, not doing things for people, not calling people) so I really need to heed this message. Like, seriously.
I will not mess with a dude that already has a girlfriend or wife. Like I've said before, I just can't be somebody's side dish, no matter how easy the situation is.
I want to call Jerramy. I know, I know. LOL. But I just want to call and talk to him. Just be his friend. But he's not in that frame of mind right now. At all. He's just not in that frame of mind right now.
You know, some of these people in the entertainment industry are real shady. I just called this one heffa and she gon' act like it's not her and gon' connect me to her own voicemail. That's right, she owes my company some money. Figures she would pull a stunt like that.
But anyways.
The building my office is in has a gym (it's really a condominium). I'm thinking waking up and coming to the office early Monday-Thursday. Get up at like 7:00am. Be out the house by 7:45am at the latest. Get to the gym by 8:30am. Work-out 'till 9:30am. Get cleaned up and dressed for work by 10:00am. Sounds like a good plan to me. It's the execution of said plan that's gonna be tricky.
But I'ma work on it. That's all I can do.
But I still want to call Jerramy. But I just can't do that to myself. I'm not a reverter. I don't like reverting back to my old ways (although I sometimes do).
Hey, next Monday's gonna be two whole months of celibacy. It's already been a bumpy road, what with a year and three months to go... But I'll live. I've been alright so far.
I've decided to use this time to focus more on me. I'm already dedicating a good 30 minutes to myself at night before I go to sleep. I paint my nails (to keep 'em from breaking), wash my face, thoroughly clean my teeth, read a chapter of Psalms from the Bible. I feel like a fool for just now getting into this routine.
It's been feeling real good too. I just feel so much more relaxed. I don't feel all stressed out...
Welp, my boss just came back to the office. Time to get back to work...