2004-09-23 - 11:00 a.m.

So another long while since I last wrote. That's life, eh?

I took another pregnancy test like two weeks ago to make sure I wasn't pregnant, especially from that little one night stand. I didn't know what to think about me - I had done swole up all around my middle, I wasn't feeling good, I was eating crazy like I was eating for three people...

I r ealize now it was the stress from the possibility of all those hurricanes hitting my state. It just made me really nervous. And I don't usually get nervous but then again, not in my life have I ever had the threat of three hurricanes coming back to back before like that. It's weird.

In other weird news, I've lost three pounds between last week and this week...

I wanna exercise, I just really don't have the energy with all this damn running around I do. I know that exercise gives energy though, so I need to really get with the program - any program dammit.

I'm still at my job. Matter fact, I just picked up business cards for me, my boss and this other guy yesterday. Now, it's official.... And I'm still questioning whether I should stay or go.

My boss is crazy. Like, for real. Like, he has bipolar - he's off the rocker. It's a lot of stress for him, I'm sure. But for me, it's even more stress 'cause I'm not a stressful person so to endure his stress along with him is really hard on me. I think that's where my lack of energy comes from as well. I get stressed to the point of exhaustion being around him. Not a good look.

Finally, a beautiful day and I'm stuck in the office. Boooo!!!

Tiffany made me cry last night, one of the girls who got cut on ANTM. She's from my city and I know so many girls like her. She is really beautiful in person too (I saw her at the try-outs when I went with J). I know exactly what she was saying. I haven't been in her position before, knowing that you're disappointing your family and wanting to make it right, but I've known a lot of girls in that situation and to see her wanting to make a change and getting shot down... It just hurt me to tears. If I see her around, I'll make sure to tell her to keep her head up. Trouble don't last always.

I am sleepy right now. I wouldn't mind a day off. I really wouldn't. I deserve it, no? Hey, that sounds like I doubt a deserve a day off. So here - "I deserve a day off." Yeah, that was good. LOL.

I really wanna work out - man, this is an on-going issue! For real! But I do. I wanna get that bangin' body. Something that I'm happy with. I do.

I guess it just comes down to me doing what I gotta do.

I wanna go on a date. A dinner date. With someone whose company I enjoy just because their company is good company.

We'll see what comes. Then again, I don't want to see. I just want it to come.

But I'm still not lonely. (LOL. I've finally convinced myself. Saying it over and over really does work.) Eh. Whatever.

I'm out.

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