"'Cause I ain't neva been the one to run from responsibility..."
2004-07-08 - 4:22 p.m.
So I took a pregnancy test this afternoon. Came back negative.
Hey, at least I feel better. Even though I know it's not necessarily accurate 'cause it only happened on Friday and today is only Thursday (although some tests can give accurate answers after six days and this is the sixth day) and I haven't even given myself the chance to miss my period.
But still, I feel better. I didn't feel pregnant (even though I know it's probably very difficult to "feel" pregnant so soon). I knew the circumstances under which the condom broke and all that...
To tell the truth, I wasn't really worried. Now, I ain't tryna be cocky or nothin'. I'm just sayin', in my heart, I didn't believe I was pregnant. I still don't.
I'm glad about it.
And all of this is making me re-evaluate the situation I'm in with this guy. Yeah, it's fun and all. But really, what would I have done if I were pregnant from him? He's somebody I. don't. know. Yeah, I know his name, I know where he lives, I know some other thangs about him. But really, I don't know him. You can't really know somebody after only a month.
On top of that, I have no feelings for this dude. This is purely a situational situation. Purely situational. Would I want to get pregnant from a situation? Not a relationship. Just a situation.
How could I explain that to my family? How could I tell them, "Yeah, I'm pregnant from a friend." It happens to plenty people all the time, yeah. But I'm sure not many of them are happy to have to put it like that. "I'm pregnant from a friend."
Not even a best friend. Not even a really close friend. Not even really a friend. More of an associate. That's about it.
Naw, I ain't ready to find myself in that situation. Not at all.
So what am I gon' do? Really, I don't know. Like I've said before, I'm enjoying myself in this situational situation. But am I really as ready for the consequences as I've tried to make myself believe I am?
Hell no. I don't think so.