"Doing good, good, good."
2004-04-29 - 11:38 a.m.
Hey Diary.
I've been officialay missin' u.
Well, not completely. I've been writing in my paper journal. Not often, just whenever I think about not having the chance to write in you. Which is real ridiculous 'cause when I'm writing in my paper journal, there's a computer in another room I could be typing away on. I just can't seem to bring myself to it.
It's weird. I think I've been fighting a mild depression. The good thing about it this time is that I know that I have God by my side to help me through it. So it hasn't been as depressing as it could be. I've been sleeping like crazy and that was a sign to me. I sleep heavily when I'm depressed.
And it's not like I'm sleeping to catch up on rest 'cause I don't even be tired. I just sleep. Just to get away when I don't have anything else to do. But starting next week, that's all going to change.
Starting next week (uh-oh, this sounds familiar...), I'm gonna be dedicated to me. But this time, I think it's gonna be for real. It's time that I focus on me for a change. Just do me. Period.
It could be fun if I do it right.
But back to God helping me through this... I was real lonely for a few days, which is a hell of a long time for me to call myself lonely these days. It took me back to high school when loneliness played a huge role in my depression. Man, those were some sad times.
But then Monday morning, I woke up and remembered that now, I know God. I know his place in my life, I know that I trust him and his plans, I know that I am no longer alone in this thing called life.
And once again, as always, I immediately felt better. It's becoming a habit that I am more than happy to indulge in - remembering that God is here for me. Man, it feels good to wake up and remember that, especially.
To wake up. And remember! Whoo!
So I feel better already. And I am sooo happy about that.
And as a message, I let down my guard and actually met somebody on Monday. Out of the blue. It's not like I'm looking forward to anything concerning him. It just reminded me that God has someone coming for me. The One is on his way. I just need to employ patience.
I'm just glad that I feel better.
Btw, I was fortunate enough to sit in on a Maya Angelou "presentation" last night. I will do what I can to be a "Rainbow in the Clouds".