2004-03-24 - 4:01 p.m.

Okay. So I FINALLY (after like THREE MONTHS) opened up that Syleena Johnson CD (her sophomore effort) and popped it in the CD player. I've listened to it about 4 times in 2 days so far. I lub it!

Especially the Intro:

"One day I was feeling low down
(Was having) bad thoughts like I won't be around
(Was thinkin') maybe I should get out of this game
(I thought that) nobody wants to hear me sing"

I love that Intro mayn! For real. It's inspirational for me right now.

And I need a lot of inspiration. Not just for this weight-loss thing, but for my future.

I know that God has a great job out there for me right now. I also know that it is my responsibility to get to what he has for me. The thought of that is kinda daunting but I'm doin' my b-e-s-t to stay optimistic. And honestly, whenever I start to get discouraged, I've been hearing Syleena's voice. So I'm just gonna keep on listening to that song right there.

And I was not happy that Yoanna was chosen as America's Next Top Model. I feel she could have achieved that all on her own. Like she said, she's so in love with fashion and she breathes modeling. So, go on ahead and pursue it instead of layin' in the cut! Took away Mercedes' chance like that. Shameful. She shoulda never even been in the competition.

I just got an appointment for Friday morning with the dentist. I'm happy about that. And I believe I can make it 'till then 'cause my mouth ain't murderin' me right now so I can't see it comin' with the cuts tomorrow. I'll just hold on or snatch the tooth out with some pliers if it acts up.

I just remembered that I only got $98 back for my taxes... Wow. That's all I can really say about it. Wow. LOL.

I did worse than I thought with that NY trip. But again, I've never spent that kind of money on myself and I am still enjoying all the stuff I got up there so I just need to let it go, right? Right. Right? Right. Right?

LOL.

Hopefully, April will boost my finances back up. I'll just hold onto that hope.

I e-mailed my resume in for a job I was referred to by a friend. It sounds challenging but like it could be fun and like the pay could be cool. My hopes are not up about it but at least they're not down about it, either. I'm just being patient.

Next year, I'm gonna buy a season pass for the Fair. Yes I am. LOL. I luh the Fair.

And LOL at the fact that I didn't even remember changing my hairstyle on Friday night. That thought just came back to me...

I also just had a flashback of being in my cousins' bedroom circa 1991. I don't know WHERE that came from. LOL!!!

Aiight. Enough rambolations.

"(It told me) cry out if you wanna be heard
(It told me) be strong and take heed to my word
(It told me) stand up if you wanna be seen
(It told me) reach out so you can catch your dreams"
Syleena Johnson, "The Voice"

* P.S. Two more hours 'till I find out if I won. *

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