"And I'm thankful for the man that you are...you are...you are...."
2004-02-25 - 3:29 p.m.
What is amazing to me right now is that it is clearly raining outside. The fact keeps getting mentioned by the people working in the office and the radio announcers.
Nevertheless, I can't imagine the way it's looking outside.
There are no windows in the office I work in. I could go up to the cafeteria and look out the wall of windows up there but for what? To see gray skies? To see rain covering everything? To watch the cars creep down the streets, backing up traffic even worse than it already is?
To realize that wet ground and cold feet and muggy air and scary driving is what I have to look forward to in an hour?
No thanks. I'd rather just sit here and imagine the sun shining the way it was yesterday when I left work. The way the wind was blowing. The dryness of the air.
I'd rather just sit here in my own fantasy...
Which has been what has been bothering me the past few days. I keep fantasizing and fantasizing different things. Then, I walk outside and have reality knock me upside the head and I get upset.
I know it's raining outside. Why not prepare myself for the rain (I did bring in my umbrella) instead of acting like by the time I walk outside, the day will have turned to beauty?
I know the way life is right now. Why not brace myself for the feelings I'm feeling instead of acting like I'm not feeling the way I'm feeling?