2004-02-09 - 8:37 a.m.

"***, I know you sleepin' but girl, turn on the tv! You gotta see Beyonce performin' on the Grammy's. She got her dancers behind her and it's just so beautiful."

TV on.

CBS.

Volume waaaaaay up.

A violin plays...two dancers move on the left...I'm up out of my bed. LOL!!!

I just stood in front of the television, mesmerized. Then, she sang, "But of all, my love for you sometimes makes me wanna..."

She gon' do it falsetto. That's the only way she can do it...

"CRYYYYYYYY!"

Ooooh lawd, I almost fell out right there. Homegirl hit the note. She hit it! What!!!!

B had to show 'em why she deserved that Grammy Award for best performance for "Dangerously in Love" and that's what she did. There is no other female performer that can touch her vocally right now. Not one. Nobody.

Now I gotta go whore myself to somebody with TiVo cause I gotta see that whole performance from beginning to end.

Got my windows tinted. Got on the treadmill once. The weekend was too busy to get my hair done, get my stereo installed or get on the treadmill all three days.

I realized, at least, that although I'm the busiest I've been in damn-near a year, I am completely not stressed and that's something that's really making me happy right now. It means I'm enjoying myself.

I'm tired though. I can't even lie and say I'm not. I tried to watch Joel Osteen last night and ended up falling asleep towards the end - the show is only 30 minutes! LOL. I even heard a snore come out in my semi-conscious state.

I'm tired now too. Yawning and everything. I look forward to my lunchnap time.

On the getting healthy front (which, in my nothing to talk about state, I almost forgot to mention), progress has definitely been made.

Last Friday, there were a pair of pants that I wanted to wear out but couldn't because I could barely zip them up and, even when I accomplished that great feat, I had a big ole' roll hanging over the entire circumference of the waistband of the pants.

Not the case this past Friday. This past Friday, I said to myself, "Girl, gon' and try them pants on just to see." So, that's what I did. I pulled them pants up and the first thing I noticed was that they were no longer cutting off the circulation in my crotch area! LOL!!! My baby could breathe easily! Then, the zipper went straight up. Right on up. Then, I buttoned that button and there was nothing hanging over. Not a piece of meat.

Talk about happy! What?!!?! You mean to tell me that all this hard work I've been doing all week has paid off quickly? You have got to be kidding me. But no, my 1400-calories-(at least) 100-crunches-(at least) 100-squats-(at least) 100-arm-exercises-a-day routine is actually working. I'm steadily getting to where I want to be body-wise. I'm proud of myself. For real.

And as far as the eating goes... I'm learning how to stop stuffing myself 'till I can't breathe. I'm eating up until when I get full and then I'm walking away. Sometimes, it's been hard (like yesterday at breakfast) but I've been doing it. Sticking to my goals for myself makes me feel real good. Real good.

Now, I'm like, "duh" 'cause I feel like I could've been doing this for a long-ass time instead of just getting started now but it's better late than never and the past can't be changed so, that's that on that.

I was happy for OutKast too when they won their Grammy for best album 'cause they deserved it. And the whole family-type atmosphere on the stage was real nice. Looked like what would happen for me were I to win a Grammy or something. I'd bring my momma and my child and my friends up on stage too.

And 50 (aka Ferrari) looked so ghetto when he walked all up on Evanescence 'cause he was mad he ain't win. Yeah, he sold a lot of records but he ain't help nobody with his music. The messages in his music contain no positivity whatsoever so I agree with him not receiving the Grammy for best new artist.

Yeah. Okay. I think that's it for right now.

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