TheForest.Diaryland.Com

"My mother, my mother's waitin' on me ya'll. Hey!"

2004-02-02 - 9:11 a.m.

First, I'm mad at Reggie. Why?

'Cause he was sittin' over there at the Sorrybowl get together, lookin' so damn cute holding his 3 year old goddaughter and her 3 month old baby sister.

He make me sick!

I was hot too, 'cause D know she supposed to forewarn me when he gon' be around. But nooooo, not this time. She let me get alllll the way to her house and in the door and then gon' say, "Vita's coming, Reggie's coming...". LOL! She dirty for that one, she know. But it was cool though. A great time was had by all.

But still, Reggie know he ain't right for sittin' over there, holdin' them kids, lookin' like the most natural father in the world. I ain't sayin' it kickstarted my biological clock or even any other bodily emotions (LOL) but it did leave a little mark on my brain...

Make me sick! Hmph!

And then, when I'm leaving, he gon' make a *ahem* "comment". Because of the others in attendance who were thankfully out of earshot, I had to maintain my composure and keep it moving. LOL!!!

And WHY am I so mad that only me and Vita got distracted enough to miss Janet's breastess at the end of that halftime performance. Sat and watched that whooooole crapola and then missed the biggest part. And they never gon' show the actual breastess on tv anymore so I done missed it for real. Only me and Vita. Only us.

And I feel like I got a proper ending to my whole Real infatuation (not really infatuation...i just can't think of a better word right now). I had planned to go to his cafe to attend his sending-off party Saturday night. Problem was, me, D and J had gone to see "You Got Served" right before we were supposed to go to the cafe so they messed around and got hyped up and wanted to go dancing. Okay, okay. So did I! But I was still holding on to going to the cafe. But I gave in, knowing full well I wanted to go to the cafe.

I trust that whole, "If it's not meant for you, you won't have it." philosophy. I wanted to see Real perform again so I could imprint his face in my memories. I wanted to hear him. I was taking everything too seriously though.

So me and the girls ended up going dancing. Did not go to Will's place. I missed a friend of mine perform as well. But it was for the best. I ain't need to see Real's face anymore. I decided I wasn't gonna think about him anymore and that's the way it's meant to be.

But I was highly thrown off when, yesterday, I'm laying in my bed reading a book, listening to the radio. For no reason at all, Real popped into my head. I said his name in my mind and no sooner did the sound of the last letter of his name end in my head than I heard the radio announcer say, "In the studio with us today, we have [Real], etc., etc. Wussup [Real]?"

And then he speaks. They did a full interview on him and let him close out the show with one of his pieces. And in the strangest way, I needed for that to happen. And I'm happy it happened too. I can't explain really what it said to me, but that occurence just cleared up my mind a little more.

And it was meant for my little cousin to unexpectedly come to my house and knock on my door right in the middle of Will's piece. To distract me. To bring me back to reality... It's over.

I had a good weekend though. Restful. Felt good to stay in bed 'till 11am on Saturday AND Sunday. Haven't done that in a lil' while...

Friday night, went by my alma mater to see a comedian. Leon Rodgers. He had a man named Nard as the opening act. They were not funny. I don't know what it is about black comedians. They be funny everywhere else but when they bring it to the black crowd at my U, they dry! Even Shawty (he was in a music video, can't remember which one) damn-near got booed when he came for Black History Month at my U. Only Gary Owens got a good reception.

What made it bomb in the end though was that they had Popeye's chicken for everybody. Just 'bout the whole menu was avaiable. And they wasn't skimpy with it either. But that's probably gonna be my last taste of Popeye's for a while... It's for the best though.

Went dancing Friday night too. LOL!

I rode around for a little bit on Saturday evening, shopping around for the best tinting prices for my car windows. I am so glad that I had to go through the whole car-shopping process. I am now a bargain-shopper. I can talk anybody down into a deal that I want. Now I have the power! LOL!!!!

Yesterday was all about rest and the Sorrybowl. Honestly, the best thing about it was the chicken wings that D's sister made. LOL.

I start work at the theater today. Lawd, I'ma be tiyuhd by the time I get home tonight. I'm just gonna hold on for my bed, that's all I can do. LOL.

Me and my momma have made a commitment to eating better and getting in exercise. No more fast food... That's the hardest part 'cause me and her are always in the streets and barely ever home to cook. But I feel it can be done. So, I'm putting forth the effort.

The exercise. I actually love being on the treadmill. Mostly because I know that I'm doing something to help my body but also because I feel so good after I get off. Especially if I was on for a long time. That's when I feel the best about myself and what I've done.

It's gonna be real hard these next few weeks 'cause me and her are gonna be so busy but I know I'ma put forth an effort. Like tonight, I probably won't end up at home 'till after 9pm. Yet and still, I'ma do what I can to get up on that treadmill and get in some crunches.

Sometimes, it just amazes me that I can't even remember how it felt to be 231 lbs at 5'2". I remember that it was painful for me as a person. That, I'll never forget. But as far as physically? I just can't remember.

Maybe because even now, I feel like I'm still 231 pounds.

It's weird.

the last - the next

The Trees Today - The Trees I've Seent. - Diaryland.


The Last 5 Trees
"Until the end of time, I'll be there for you. You are my heart and mind. I truly adore you." - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2016
"Don't touch what's there...when it's the feelings I wear..." - Saturday, Oct. 08, 2016
"I will enter his gates with thanksgiving in my heart, I will enter his courts with praise." - Friday, Oct. 07, 2016
"I tried to run it away. Thought then my head'd be feeling clearer...." - Tuesday, Oct. 04, 2016
"Boy, your money and my money? Ain't the same damn kind. I can live your life and my life AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!" - Sunday, Oct. 02, 2016