I want her body!
2004-01-08 - 3:24 p.m.
Two (MORE) Things: (LOL!!!)
Damn. Now that I got this new space, I'm all excited to write up entries. Hmmmm, "and you know it feels good!"
1) Interracial Relationships
I don't understand my issue with black men dating white women. I really don't. Especially considering that my stepfather is white and I have grown up around white people (in some form or fashion) all of my life. My mother has never been a separatist type person (I mean she did marry a white man!). I just don't know where this problem I have with black men dating white women came from.
I actually acted out negatively when I saw Reggie dancing with a white girl when we went out a few weeks ago. (We went out with a group of people.) I wasn't jealous 'cause he was dancing with a female. Not at all. I wanted him to have fun. But when I saw it was a white girl woman, I got all huffy.
I passed by him and gave she and he the evil eye. In my Henny-induced state and at the urging of D and Jo, I even called him after I left the club to leave a message asking why he was dancing with a white woman! Like that was my damn business! LOL. For real. I have some damn nerve!
Goody for me, he actually answered the damn phone! So I ended up feeling bad! Come to find out, he's worked with her before on a job (he's a model - explains the fineness!!!!). Even so, I had no business inquiring who she was or why he was dancing with her. I really didn't. He is a man and she is a woman and if they want to dance together, that is their damn business! Especially since me and Reggie have no ties like that.
I just really want to get over my whole problem with the black-men-dating-white-women issue. Who am I to question why someone is interested in someone else?
Me, personally, I just don't even see white men as attractive. I'm just not physically attracted to them. For real. Not even Justin Timberlake! LOL!!! (Who I ended up standing next to in a club one night. He is my height (I'm 5'2), okay?!). I just don't feel anything when I look at them.
I've had conversations with white men before but it's like there's a mental block there that causes me to not even "go there" when I'm talking to a white man whereas I might allow myself to "go there" when I'm talking to a black man...
I don't know. It's weird.
I guess it's just the thought that maybe one of the main reasons for them being with a white woman is that they don't trust black women when it comes to a man having a lot of money. I don't like the idea that perhaps black women are thought of as goldiggers, thus permitting us to be avoided when it comes to getting into a relationship with a well-off black man. I think that's the root of my issue with the whole thing.
But then I look back at myself. That man is not meant for me. He has not been "taken" from me. I never had him in the first place. Hell, I don't even know him! So why am I all up in his damn business?! I need to mind my own and keep it moving.
So, that's what I'm going to work on doing this year.
But I must say this: It does bother me when, at a hoity-toity (rich, famous, etc.) club where it's "black people night", if a group of white women walk up to the door, they are immediately let in before anyone else without asking to get in or whatever. It's like the black bouncers rush to be at their beck and call when all the black people (especially women) have been waiting and will have to continue to wait.
And it also bothers the way some white women blatantly pursue black athletes. THAT bothers me. I can't even say it doesn't. I remember one night, at a club, I was standing next to some basketball players (I don't keep up with sports enough to know these people's names/teams/salaries/etc.). A group of white women kept parading themselves in this specific area even though they could have gone around the rest of the club.
I mean back and forth, back and forth. It finally started looking like a meat market as they were each handpicked by the mostly young (24-30 years old) black athletes. [And this was RIGHT AFTER the Kobe story broke.] These females were ready and willing, okay?! Had BUSINESS CARDS with their names and numbers. Not for actual BUSINESSES. Just for the purpose of distributing their personal information.
I was not in that area to be selected by an athlete. That's just where I'm most comfortable when I'm in that particular club. So it didn't bother me that I was not getting the attention those females were getting. To be honest, I do not appreciate "celebrity". It means nothing to me. The work the person does is what's important to me. So I surely wouldn't be running after no basketball player.
It just disgusted me what I saw. Would I have been as disgusted had some black women done that? Probably not.
I just have a whole bunch of issues to deal with concerning the topic of black men dating white women. I'll work on minding my own damn business when I see a black man and a white woman together. Love is love. Period.
Oooh. I typed so much I almost forgot about #2! LOL!
2) My body idol is Ki Toy, the woman from Big Boy's "The Way You Move" Video.
Ever since I saw that video, I have said that I want my body to look like hers. Ever since. For real. I want them thighs, I want that stomach. I. WANT. THAT. BUTT. I want it all. And I just found out today that she is my damn height! Whoo-hoo! It's possible!
I like that body type because she ain't skinny. She thick. But it's all toned up and put together and all that lookin' real right.
I used to say that my weight loss goal was just to have a stripper's body. I want to have the kind of body where my pants never fit 'cause my butt is too big and my waist is too small.
Everything is in place, it all just needs toning up. I got the booty. I got the breasts. I got the thighs. I got the hips. I even got the calves. I just got too much of it all. LOL! I need to lose some of it to look like Ki Toy. But I'ma get there.
I am.
And all I need to lose is 38 pounds... Whooo... I can do it though. I can.
I will try, too. Just so I can have a body like hers. That's part of my inspiration! LOL!!!!
Alright. Enough. For the third time today, you don't know me.